Free Advice for Women

Applause for Unmarried Women

The Relationship Advice Girl — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 06:07:10 +0000

I loved reading this recent article in More magazine. The title of the article/slideshow is: What Me, Marry?

I am in awe of women like Mary Louise Parker, who famously dumped while VERY pregnant. She went on to adopt a little girl from Ethiopia and win multiple awards for her work as an actress.

A Woman Needs a Man Like a Fish Needs ...

The article also tips the hat to women like Oprah Winfrey and Sarah Silverman, who both take the “just say no” attitude towards marriage.

It also has a great quote from the great Patricia Clarkson: “I don’t consider the fact that I’ve dated several men in my life and not married one a failure. I consider that a good time!”

Read the entire article at More.com.

Dating advice for today: Let’s not date like our happiness depends on a man. Because there’s proof out there that it doesn’t depend on a man; our happiness depends on us.

First Date Tips

The Relationship Advice Girl — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 00:58:27 +0000

I’m always surprised at how many times I go on first dates, and the guy talks the entire time about himself and doesn’t ask me a single question about me.

I mean — it’s common sense. If you like someone, you ask questions about HER.

If you like a guy, ask him questions about HIM.

But, if you’re on a first date and the guy doesn’t ask you a SINGLE question about yourself …

Lose his number. Chances are, he’s an egotistical jerk and every single thing will always be about him, him, him. Screw that.

Read more First Date Tips for Women here.

Do NOT Get Your Ex Back!

The Relationship Advice Girl — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 06:06:09 +0000

One of things that really irritates me is all the articles and books marketed towards women who want to get their exes back.

I don’t understand this, especially if the woman was the one who was dumped.

I once read a lengthy website dedicated to helping women get their ex-boyfriends back. It was shocking. The advice was to agree with everything the man said (even if he was insulting the woman), take 100 percent responsibility for everything that went or was going wrong, and to “pretend” like everything was fine.

This sounds like the Stepford Wives to me.

If you are reading this — and you want your ex back — please, please, take a moment to read this article on why you shouldn’t bother to get your ex-boyfriend back.

If, after you read the article, you STILL want your ex back — well, then, good luck.

But I think you’re worth much more than that.

You can find someone better. I’m sure of it.

How to Get Over a Breakup

The Relationship Advice Girl — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 03:18:51 +0000

Breaking up can be one of the most painful things that will ever happen in your life. The sad and unfortunate fact is that sometimes, the ones we love get under our skin. We get attached. We love. It doesn’t work out. And so we must grieve.

Breaking up and surviving a bad breakup is not easy. And there is no one single way to get over a guy. What works for me might not work for you. What works for you might not work for your best friend.

The best advice I can give is this: Give yourself a break. Don’t beat yourself up too much. Give yourself a break and give yourself time.

Here is a great article I just read over at Dating Diva Daily about Breaking Up and Blogging On.

And here is a new website devoted to breakup stories — it’s called Modern Love Rejects. You might want to read about other womens’ pain, so you know you’re not alone, or you might want to grab pen and paper or your laptop and think about writing your own story.

Above all: Be kind to yourself when you are going through a breakup. Be kind. You deserve it.

Here are 10 Breakup Tips that are all about being kind to yourself.

Dating Tips for Men

The Relationship Advice Girl — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 04:30:37 +0000

Just found an awesome site that’s offering a free ebook: 101 Romantic Ideas. Aimed at men, the ebook gives super cute tips on making your loved one feel special. Follow the author at @romanticdate on Twitter for more date ideas for men.

Advice for Women on Twitter

The Relationship Advice Girl — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 04:24:01 +0000

Please follow me on Twitter at @adviceforwomen.

http://twitter.com/#!/adviceforwomen

Free Advice for Women

The Relationship Advice Girl — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 04:12:26 +0000

Welcome to FreeAdviceForWomen.com. This site is designed to help women with dating tips and relationship advice. Please take a moment to read some of the articles. They are about typical experiences that we women face in the dating world: the best places to meet men, what to do on a first date and everything else dating-related.

If you’re in a new relationship, this site has advice for you. If you’re looking for a boyfriend, this site has advice for you. If you’re looking for where to meet single men–this site has advice for you!

The Right Time for Sex

The Relationship Advice Girl — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 04:08:49 +0000

Dear Eve,

My boyfriend wants sex and we have been dating for only three months now. Is it too early for us to do it?

I feel like we should wait till marriage, but am afraid of losing him if we do not have sex. If I get intimate with him before marriage, will that lead to mistrust when we will are married, and will he look at me as a cheap woman, or will it strengthen our love?

Signed,

Concerned

Dear Concerned:

Something tells me that if you have to ask me these questions, this is not the right guy for you. If you are underage or otherwise inexperienced, NO GUY SHOULD PRESSURE YOU INTO HAVING SEX.

Sure, you might lose him if you don’t have sex with him. But losing your self-respect and dignity is MUCH worse than losing a guy.

Listen to what your gut is telling you.

Re: How will he look at you before/after marriage? The truth is, most couples have sex before marriage. And neither person looks at the other person as a “cheap whore” for having sex before marriage.

You sound very young to me, so my advice is to wait.

Sincerely,
Eve

Will He Come Back?

The Relationship Advice Girl — Sun, 15 May 2011 04:09:07 +0000

Dear Eve,

Hello,

My name is J., I just turned 29 recently and i am having some regrets.

I guess I’m just having those feelings of “I’m almost 30 and I am not in a stable relationship.” I keep thinking about this guy that is, well used to be my friend. I keep wondering if I will ever get another chance.

I met this guy, we’ll call him X, at my place of employment about 4 years ago. When I saw him, it was love at first sight for me. Although, when I approached him he said he was involved so I told him that it was fine and could I just be his friend. He said yes, and we had been friends for a little over 3 years when this happened.

Now before then, he was in and out of relationships, none of them were working out for him. He would text me off and on, we would talk about random things, and no matter how long it had been we would always check in on each other.

So a little over 3 years passed and I saw him in a local club. He saw me and I said hello, and he gave me a hug. I waited until he walked toward the back of the club, and I texted him. I said, “I’m still waiting on you.”
Assuming by the response he gave, he thought I was referring to sex. And considering my message was quite vague, I guess I could see that.

So he texted back and said “Well, you may be in luck tonight.” So considering that I have been in love with this man and waiting just as long, I figured well, I can see if we can talk and catch up.

Well we got to his place, we started catching up. He started telling me how, he had always wanted me although he was always in and out of relationships. Knowing that he always wanted to be with me made me feel special. Then he continued to say he is a relationship kind of man, now he X being older (41) I assumed he was well aware of what he wanted. We continued to talk some more, and then one thing lead to another our chemistry was on fire and we had sex.

The next day I had to babysit for a friend and had to leave; when I expressed this to him it sounded as if he were upset that i was leaving. I told him that the next time I will tell them no, and his response was “It would be beneficial!” So i went home, babysat and within the morning he texted and asked if I was awake. I texted back yes and asked him how he was. He said that he was going out of state.

So considering that if you get a call after a night like that one, I again assumed that was good. We texted off and on while he was gone. Then that weekend when he came back I made sure I was dressed real nice and had my hair done up.

I went to the local bar where he worked; apparently someone told me that I had too many drinks that night because I was crying. I don’t remember that at all, of course that is my fault too.

Well when I got home, he called and asked me “Why were you crying, your weren’t crying over me?”

I still was unaware of this and explained to him I wasn’t. He began to say, “Well, you’re a good person and all, although we did something, I considered us friends.” Then he asked me what I thought of the relationship.

Instead of telling this man that I had fallen in love with him the first time I met him and all of my feelings that I was having, I became upset and shut down, and told him, “I completely understand, I know my place!!”

The next day when I sobered up, I thought about everything and asked the woman who was with me what had happened, and at that point I knew I couldn’t take it back.

But I thought that I could at least salvage the friendship.

So I sent a text, and I said, “I want all the things that you want, and if I waited this long, I can wait a little longer. If you choose me, I would be happy, although if you don’t choose me, whomever gets you, I hope they treat you like the good man you are.”

He in turn texted, “Thanks for understanding, that’s grown of you, you’re cool in your own right.”

I could sense he was just as frustrated as I was the night before; the communication wasn’t there. I have thought about contacting him, which I know is probably not right. I called the number I had and it is disconnected. I guess I’m just wondering, if the saying is still true “great things come to those who wait”?

Please help me, I still have hope that maybe he’s thinking of me like I am him!! And maybe he’s waiting on me, considering none of his relationships last or could it be that when I do finally get him, it may not be as good as I thought it would!!

Dear J,

I feel your pain. I do. I understand what it’s like to love a man for years, and then to finally — almost — have him. The key word here is “almost.”

When men have sex, it sometimes triggers a “flee” button. Whereas when women have sex, our “attach” button gets pushed instead.

It sounds like this man keeps hopping in and out of relationships, and it sounds like you’ve stuck in there as a “friend” to him because you’re just waiting for him to finally “choose” you.

Since I’m not there, and the relationship seems complicated, I will offer you this:

1. Sometimes, the answer to life’s problems is staring at us right in the face. Is this guy the right guy for you? His number is disconnected; he thought that you going to a prior babysitting commitment after you spent the night was not “beneficial” and he hasn’t reached out to you.

2. He’s in and out of relationships. A clear sign that no matter what he may say, he doesn’t really know what he wants.

3. He said, “You’re cool in you’re own right.” It sounds like you need a man who says just a bit more than that.

It sounds like you need security and reassurance that he is just not going to give you. At least, not right now.

Should you wait for him? No. That doesn’t mean that you have to close the door to him ever being in your life. It just means that you have GOT to keep meeting and dating other people, going out, having fun, even without him. He may come back to you; he may not. Either is a possibility because we cannot know what he is thinking right now. We cannot know.

And therefore, we must work with what we have. And let us agree that right now he is not in your life, and right now, you and your life and your friends and job and everything else is enough to keep you comfortable. As much as it may not feel this way, please consider this: you do not actually need him.

Good luck. I hope that you have good friends who can help you. Therapy and some self-love will help, too.

Sincerely,
Eve

How to Get Rid of This Guy?

The Relationship Advice Girl — Thu, 05 May 2011 04:09:55 +0000

Dear Eve,

I have been in relationship with a guy for more than year. In the beginning, everything was good, but nowadays I can feel a lot of changes in him….he always talks about dating and more about sex…I really feel — does he really love me????

And not only about this, but he doesn’t know how to behave with others he always makes me feel embarrassed. He dominates me
in everything. He used to always say that I am lucky to have him in front of everyone. This may be good sometimes but it became very
frequent.

He makes my friends feel the same way…..every one of my friends says I am lucky to have him. He acts in front of everyone as if I am commanding him or something.

Not only because of this, but due to many incidents, I did not want to continue a relationship with him. I told him directly but he is not listening to me. We work in the same office. If any of my school friends or colleagues talk to me, he can’t tolerate it and starts to fight with me. I am seriously fed up with this relationship. I don’t want to continue this anymore. Please help me. How to get rid of this?

Sincerely,
S

Dear S,

First off, congratulations on making the step to get out of this unhealthy relationship. If he dominates you and tells you that you’re lucky to have him, it seems like he might be one of those controlling men who can turn abusive at some point. If your friends think he’s so fucking great, then you should tell them to go date him and then get back at you.

You want him out of your life, but he’s manipulated things so that people are taking his side. And plus, it doesn’t seem like he’s in the mood to let go of your relationship.

I’m sorry that you have to work with him; this is but one reason why office romance is generally a bad idea. But, since you are in a professional setting, you can use this to your advantage.

1. Email him a letter (using company email address) to tell him that it’s over, that his behavior is inappropriate and approaching the gray area of harassment (he is creating a tense work environment).

2. Tell him clearly and plainly that the relationship is OVER. Be nice but firm. Something like, “You are a nice guy, but you are NOT the right one for me, and I do NOT want to see you anymore. I am breaking up with you,” is clear and firm.

3. If he continues to harass you by picking fights with you or disturbing your work environment, take it to HR. He’s violating your right to a harassment-free work site.

This guy sounds like a real asshole, and I wish you the best of luck in getting rid of him. Worse comes to worse, there are always other jobs out there.

Good luck.

Sincerely,
Eve