Free Advice for Women

News reports today indicate that Sandra Bullock’s husband, a “biker dude” named Jesse James, had an 11-month affair with a heavily tattooed woman who’s currently soliciting her “modeling” career online.

Some news outlets speculate that Bullock is the victim of the “Oscar curse,” a strange phenomenon in which female actresses who’ve won the coveted award sometimes break up with their partners soon thereafter.

Since we don’t know the full situation of what should be a very private ordeal, we can only speculate on why men cheat on women. In particular, why do men cheat on beautiful women? If one compares the pictures of Sandra Bullock and her husband’s alleged mistress, one can clearly see that Bullock’s movie-star beauty far outshines her competitor’s.

But this cheating thing seems to happen to women, regardless of what they look like. Ethan Hawke cheated on Uma Thurman. Jude Law cheated on Sienna Miller. Brad Pitt may have cheated on Jennifer Aniston.

Beautiful women, apparently, are not immune to the problem of men cheating.

Therefore, it can be assumed that men cheat for the reasons already thrown out over the years:

1. They find something emotionally missing in their love life with their partner.

2. They feel threatened by their partner’s success, and cheating is a way to reclaim that power.

3. They feel emasculated by the woman they are with, and choose a less-intimidating woman to cheat with.

4. Men, in general, cheat on women more than women cheat on men. And that’s just the way it is.

Uma Thurman, during an interview with Howard Stern, says that she thinks that all men cheat.

Do they? What do you think?

I’d like to share a few recent conversations I witnessed between a man and a woman. They are both friends, nothing more. The man was giving the woman dating advice.

The woman had just started seeing some guy. She asked her male friend how long she should wait until she slept with him.

The male replied: “Well, if you’re thinking of holding out on him, the only one you’re holding out on is yourself.”

So he basically meant: Sleep with him whenever you want. It doesn’t matter.

Fast forward a week or two. The man and the woman were having lunch again, and I was at the table. The man was moaning about a girl he was in love with, who had gotten involved with another man.

He said, “I guess he sent her flowers after the first time they did it.”

We asked him how long that was.

He replied, “About a month. Which is kind of sweet. At least she didn’t give it up to him right away.”

You see this? You see how this “friend” didn’t think twice before advising his female friend to sleep with her man quickly? You see how that same man had a totally different standard for a girl he actually liked romantically?

Dating advice for tonight: Do NOT listen to your guy friends. They do not see you as a “girl” and will not give you good advice.

The weekend is coming up, so now is a good time to start making plans for yourself. Don’t have any plans yet? Here are some ideas: Instead of staying at home this weekend, renting DVDs off of Netflix and eating in bed, how about trying some of these things? You never know who you might meet:

• Go for an early Saturday morning walk
• Check the paper to see which art galleries are having openings this weekend
• Check out which classes are coming up in the fall at your local college. Hint: men like working with their hands, but they’re not going to be found in a painting class
• Go to your local book store to see which authors are holding readings
• Check out the local singles club that you’ve been too afraid to join

Most importantly, do something that you enjoy doing. The only requirements are that you do it 1) outside of the house and 2) looking your best.